


Insecurities

by RiverSong1112



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-12
Updated: 2013-01-12
Packaged: 2017-11-25 04:43:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/635234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RiverSong1112/pseuds/RiverSong1112
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt: Gabriel is insecure about his looks. Of course, he’s a jackass to cover that up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Insecurities

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on 08/22/12
> 
> http://fanficsbyraine.tumblr.com/post/29986965190/insecurities

There were things about Gabriel Novak that no one knew. And he wanted to keep it that way. The secrets were few and far between, and the one he wanted to hide most was his insecurities which lay behind a cocky attitude. He was the school's trickster, and those who play pranks aren't typically worried about their appearance. But he was too short, his lips too thin, his forehead too high, and he wasn't fit enough, nor all that strong naturally. He was sure that the only reason he's ever had a girlfriend was the "bad boy" status that came with playing pranks.

Every morning he'd stare in the mirror and try to tell himself that none of that mattered because he had good friends, few, but good. But every morning this tactic failed. Every morning he woke up, got ready for school, and stared into the bathroom mirror, making sure his insecurities were properly hid to where he could almost fool himself, until Micheal banged on the door saying Castiel needed in, because Cas would never in his life be able to do so himself, even though he's now fifteen.

Gabriel always made sure to find his friends before school started and his day always started with shameless flirting with Balthazar, talking about pranks with Andy, and the three of them giving Chuck some friendly hazing, currently about his major crush on the hyperactive blonde Becky. They'd all be close since middle school and Gabriel always got in the most trouble between pranks with Andy and PDA referrals with Balthazar and taking the fall for any of his friends when there was no real proof that there was more than one party involved. He didn't want to taint his friends' rep sheets, and it was easier for Gabriel to sneak out of his house while grounded than it was for any of the other three, anyway.

What wasn't normal for Gabriel's morning routine was for the freshman, Sam Winchester, to be waiting for him at his locker.

Gabriel hardly knew Sam. He had noticed him people watching at random spots around school and thought him cute enough to get Andy to charm their way into records so he could find out his name, but not cute enough to actually do anything about, but that was all he knew. Of course, that wouldn't stop him from some shameless flirting.

"Hello, Sammy. Anything I can do you for?" Gabriel asks suggestively, leaning on the lockers purposely too close to the younger boy.

"I can't figure you out," Sam says, turning to face Gabriel, kicking his backpack lightly against the lockers. "You're not...The way you act around people, it's not you."

Gabriel had a brief moment of panic, but quickly got himself into gear again. "What do you mean, Sammy? Of course it's me, I'm doing it, am I not?" Gabriel replies as sweetly as possible, pulling a lollipop out of his pocket and popping it into his mouth suggestively, wiggling his eyebrows at the unaffected freshman, and opened his locker.

"Yes, of course you're the one doing it. But it doesn't seem real. It looks forced. None of your reactions ring deep enough in your eyes."

This was hitting too close to home and it scared him that someone knew. So he really couldn't be blamed for blowing up in Sam's face. "What do you want from me, Sam? You can't just stand there psychobabbling and analyzing me until I spill a secret that you see but may or may not actually be there. Stop theorizing and get to the point of this encounter before I walk off," He demands shoving a book in his backpack rather roughly. He almost felt bad for the outburst but, really, most would have been creeped out and/or hit him by now.

Sam doesn't even flinch at Gabriel's harsh tone and he realizes he, quite possibly, just proved that the kid was right.

"Look, Gabriel. What I'm trying to say here is that I think I like you, but I don't want to go out with or fall for an empty shell. I will not ask out your facade. And I doubt you're interested in me like that at all, which is fine, I just want to know what kind of person the real you is before my heart gets broken." And then Sam abruptly picked up his backpack, swinging it over his shoulder and left him in shock in front of his locker, only the tardy bell snapping him out of it a couple minutes later. It didn't matter though, his English teacher loved him and wouldn't make him go to the office for a tardy slip.

\---

The encounter with Sam threw Gabriel off for the rest of the day. He was worried someone else could see through his mask and tried even harder to be the person he was supposed to be.

At lunch, Gabriel sat with Balthazar, Chuck and Andy, like normal, flirting and teasing and laughing when Gabriel feels eyes on him. He turns and isn't surprised at all when he finds Sam on the other end of the gaze.

Gabriel gets up from the table and walks over to the freshman, all conversations at his table halting as they watch him do so, curiously. Sam makes eye contact with Gabriel so as to acknowledge this fact as he sits, waiting for him to speak.

"Why me?" Gabriel asks, not breaking eye contact. He know Sam would understand what exactly he was asking.

"I don't know, either." Sam shrugs, taking a bite of his sandwich. Gabriel watches him chew and swallow it before continuing. "You are interesting to watch because of the conflicting emotions ever present on your face. But that's not..." Sam trails off and they both know how the sentence was going to end.

"You want a closer view?" Gabriel offers, jerking his head towards his table to explain.

"Really?" Sam asks hopefully.

"I won't tell you my secrets, especially not in public, but you can guess and I'll tell you yes or no so long as the topic isn't even neared with them around," Gabriel offers.

Sam smiles brightly, collecting his lunch and following Gabriel to the other table.

"Rejoice, friends, for we have a new addition to our group," Gabriel announces loudly as they approach the table. "Meet my almost-stalker, Samuel Winchester. Sam, say hi."

Sam smiles sheepishly and takes the seat on the end next to Chuck and Gabriel sits on the other side next to Balthazar again, feeling his arm slide around his waist. "So you're introducing me to your mistress? That's dangerous territory Gabe," Balthazar teases.

"I would never be foolish enough to cheat on you, Balthy! You know you're my one true love!" Gabriel replies dramatically, draping himself over Balthazar and kissing him noisily on the cheek, falling easily back into his daily facade.

"Ignore their flirting. They've always done this but aren't even remotely attracted to each other," Andy explains to Sam with his charming smile and Gabriel is silently thankful, he didn't want to crush the freshman's heart by bringing him over here.

"Are you the same Sam Winchester that Becky likes?" Chuck asks hopefully, eyes full of awe and envy.

"Unfortunately. I've been trying to get rid of her," Sam replies. "Why?"

"You should convince her to date me," Chuck pleads and the rest of the table, minus Sam, laughed.

"That's getting a bit desperate," Balthazar teases and Chuck's face turns red.

"I can talk anyone into anything. Why have you never asked me?" Andy asks, feigning hurt.

"Well, you're a dick. Sam seems nice," Chuck shoots back, louder than he meant, half pouting.

Sam looks overwhelmed by the input and everyone else's reactions. "I can try to convince her to give you a shot. Have you tried talking to her, fist?" Sam suggests and Chuck looks down at the table, mortified. Gabriel snickers.

"He's scared to. Something about her hyperactivity," Gabriel explains with a smirk, cuddled into Balthazar's side.

"Shut up!" Chuck all but whines, pouting.

\---

The next morning started with the same routine of staring into the mirror until he looked perfectly fine with no cracks and Micheal pounding on the door for Cas.

Sam didn't hang out with them in the morning, which didn't surprise Gabriel at all, even though he could see him watching a bit away, but he was at Gabriel's locker again.

"Why don't you want them to know?" Sam asks and Gabriel idyll wonders if they'll always have these seemingly vague starting in the middle conversations.

"I don't want to worry them. Or sound like a pussy complaining about my feelings," Gabriel stuck a sucker in his mouth and checked to make sure the candy pocket of his backpack was fully stocked and secure before opening his locker.

"Everyone has some secret or insecurity Gabe. There's nothing wrong with talking about it," Sam replies.

"There is when you have a Y chromosome," Gabriel retorts sarcastically, moving books and binders from his locker to his backpack and vice versa. He zips the bag shut, closing his locker and looking at the clock on the wall. "Any more questions? Class starts soon." He moves the sucker to the other side of his mouth using only his tongue, pulling another from his pocket and offering it to Sam.

The freshman takes it and pops it into his mouth. "Why are you so scared to let people in?"

"Because the closer they are, the more they can hurt you."

"What if you know they won't?"

"People change, Sammy. That is the only constant in the world. There's no changing that."

Sam makes a face like he was processing this information and thought process before turning and walking off, giving Gabriel a nod goodbye, face still contemplative. Gabriel hurries to class, not wanting to be late two days in a row. His teacher may love him, but not that much.

\---

Everyone was already at the lunch table when Gabriel got there, including Sam, but that wasn't uncommon, he usually was the last to arrive. Upon arrival, Gabriel passed out candy to everyone before flopping down on Balthazar's lap.

"I missed you, my love!" he declares draping his arms around Balthazar's neck.

"I missed you too. Half of the day is too long to be away from each other," Balthazar replies dramatically, wrapping his arms around Gabriel's waist.

"You should ravish me in the bathroom. I'm sure I taste better than the cafeteria food," Gabriel purrs into his ear.

"Last time we tried that, you were suspended for a month and I had detention for a week," Balthazar reminds him.

"And we were stuck without entertainment the entire time. You two weren't even going to do anything to each other in there." Andy points out, popping an M&M in his mouth. "We were so bored I had to talk Chuck out of spending his lunches in the library on the computer."

Gabriel fixes him with a playful glare. "Fine. No sex in the school's bathroom. Ruin my fun. I should take your candy away," he says, sliding off of Balthazar's lap at the stern look from a teacher, snuggling into Balthazar's side and sticking a lollipop in his mouth, internally sulking at the loss of a comfy lap to sit on. He snuggles into Balthazar's side and resists the urge to shoot the teacher a smug look.

"Why are you two always flirting?" Sam says, making Gabriel look over at him. He could see the freshman was honestly curious, but under it all he looked a little hurt.

"Aw, babe, I never meant to make you jealous," Gabriel flirts putting his hands on Sam's. "Do you need more attention? You know he means nothing to me, hon." The entire table watched as Sam's face turned bright red and he pulled his hands from Gabriel's. The elder smiled.

"So you're into the blushing bride type, now?" Balthazar teases. "I'm sure I could do a three way relationship for that."

Sam was so rigid and red in the face so that Gabriel was surprised he didn't faint.

\---

Gabriel was sprawled out on the couch when Castiel got home. They went to the same high school, But Castiel preferred to walk as Gabriel preferred to drive, so Cas always got home ten to fifteen minutes after his brother.

"Something wrong, Gabe?" Cas asks, setting his bag down beside the couch and looking worriedly at his brother.

"This kid, Sam, he....trying to psychoanalyze me of some shit," Gabriel complains.

"Okay," Cas replies in way of telling Gabriel to continue and moves his brother's feet so he can sit on the couch.

Gabriel moves his legs onto the back of the couch behind Castiel's head. "I don't know if it's unpleasant or not." Gabriel pauses. "He said he thinks he likes me."

"That's never been a problem before. You're usually dating them the next day," Cas points out.

"I've never maybe liked them too, before," Gabriel shoots back.

"Why is this a problem? You have mutual feelings for each other," Castiel asks, sounding baffled.

Gabriel sits up abruptly, swinging his legs over his brother's head and feet landing on the ground. "Because he refuses to do anything until he's dissected all my secrets from me."

"Then tell him them. It can't be so bad."

"But-"

"Are you two going to use the TV or just hog the couch? I need to watch yesterday's episode of _The Apocalypse_." Micheal interrupts coming down the stairs.

Gabriel opens his mouth to make a rude retort, but Castiel's hand on his knee shut him up. Cas grabbed his bag, gave Gabriel a knowing look, and went upstairs to him room to do his homework.

Gabriel grumbled and threw the remote at his older brother.

\---

"Hey, want to come home with me after school?" Gabriel asks, initiating the conversation at his locker the next morning.

"What? Why?" Sam asks looking perplexedly at Gabriel.

"Because I think I might like you too and I figure that if you come to my place either you'll be able to guess my secret faster or I'll just tell it to you because I tired of waiting to kiss you," Gabriel replies honestly, putting on his best flirtatious grin.

"O-oh," Sam replies blushing slightly and looking away. "I'll text Dean," he mutters walking off. Gabriel thought it was adorable how he always did that.

\---

Gabriel didn't know where to begin with this. The car ride to his house, while short, was filled with awkward silence and Gabriel lead Sam straight to his room after walking indoors, only stopping to offer him a drink.

Gabriel sat in his desk chair, turned to face Sam sitting on the bed, legs crossed and slightly hunched over. He bites his lip. "If I'm going to do this, I need to know your baggage too. Fair's fair."

Sam nods. "I have an overprotective brother that will probably hate you, I have a pretty much absent father who I don't get along with and I sometimes have a tendency to overshare."

Gabriel nods and spins the chair a couple of times, letting a foot fall to stop it and bringing the other knee up to his chest. "I don't like the way I look and have a hard time believing anyone likes me, because of that," Gabriel mutters into his knee.

"You're kidding, right?" Sam asks, and he looked completely astonished. Gabriel just shifted uncomfortably under his gaze. He was staring at the floor and was surprised to see Sam's feet not even a foot from his. He looked up and the freshman was uncomfortably close.

"Gabriel, you're perfect." And with those words, Sam's lips descended on his.


End file.
